The Emotionally Healthy Woman by Geri Scazzero

Author:Geri Scazzero [Scazzero, Peter; Scazzero, Geri]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780310339229
Publisher: Zondervan
Published: 2010-03-17T04:00:00+00:00

Blaming statements can give the illusion of helplessness. We mistakenly believe we don’t have choices. Yet blaming undermines the blamer in insidious ways. When blamers play the victim, they often retain a sense of moral superiority over others. In doing so, they disown responsibility. We observe this in the Garden of Eden where Adam and Eve attempted to gain the upper hand through blaming one another. Blamers are typically angry and preoccupied with what others should be doing rather than facing their own discomfort. This is easier, at least in the short term, than making the difficult choices they face.

When we continue to let hurtful situations go on hurting us or accept pain because we “have to,” we wrongly interpret our lives as out of our control. We think we are victims of our circumstances. As a result, we can often end up depressed.

The following are six signs that indicate you may be using blame to avoid personal responsibility:

1. You feel you have been dealt a “bad hand” in life.

2. You don’t think you can change anything in your life for the better.

3. You view negative occurrences and relationships in your life as being out of your control.

4. You rarely believe you are wrong.

5. You think apologizing is a sign of weakness.

6. You dwell on the past instead of looking to the future.

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